Third english essay.

En un intento de escribir algo mas serio, salio este ensayo.

A few days ago, I was reading some old papers and found this letter, written to an ex girlfriend about abortion. I had to write about moral dilemmas, I was in love and I hate clichés, so it seemed natural to write an awareness letter about an important topic like that.

Back then, the discussion was on fire. The catholic church, by speaking of the value of life itself regardless the circumstances, and the state, claiming that life should be interrupted on three cases (mother’s life in danger, born out of a violation and birth disease), were struggling for its approval, arguing in favor of life from the point of view of each one.

The constant media covering of this debate made most people think that there were no grey areas, and that the decision had to stay between those positions. It seemed that nobody could think outside that box and, divided due to the constant media remarking of this matter, there was no way to get to an agreement.

Also, it seemed that the catholic church and the state had forgotten to ask how the citizens really felt about this issue. The mass media didn’t make any difference, since they were looking people who repeated the opinions of institutions….

Real life is more complex when the human component is added to any issue, so I intend to bring back this topic in an attempt to divulge my experience with it, believing that the truth is to be found by remarking true and daily cases, not in theorical dissertations.

It all came out while I was on a bus, on my way home. Crossing Cali’s downtown, there was a black pregnant woman walking with both of her kids parallel to the bus, and I started to wonder things about her… How was her life, who was her husband, what was she doing there… Re-creating her life on my mind I got to think about overpopulation, birth control and abortion.

Then, I remembered a stage of my life. Recently graduated, my grandmother and one of my uncles asked me to go to work in the family business. We had a drugstore, located on the ugly side of another Colombian downtown. And I got to be really close to those daily dramas, suffered by those who don’t have opportunities.

Abortion was one of those dramas.

On the same place where woman can get the pregnancy test, nurses and doctors tell them which pill to boy and how to apply it. I also found out that abortion is not as socially denied as told by the media, because the name, the treatment and the pill are easy to find on the street, so the tip to get an abortion is stunningly easy to find.

I received several women who wanted to get one, while being a salesman. It was a heartbreaking scene watching so many people so sad and preoccupied. Tired, melancholic and crying eyes... Boyfriends, husbands, mothers and pregnant daughters, single mothers with their kids, and single women (mainly them) came to me for a solution.

They approached to the counter and, after being received by a “How can I help you?”, they got closer and mentioned the pill name softly, just for me to hear. If I said yes, they gave me the money I asked for; if the answer was negative, they said thanks and left, without asking where they could get it.

Then, I didn’t know what the pill was for. The vase containing them was hidden on a drawer below books, papers and the register, and I got curious because it was a constant selling product. I assumed it had to be at hand to avoid the waste of time.

So I asked why. The answer turned out to be shocking. This pill was originally made to fight gastritis, but their components are so strong that it can also be used for abortion; so it’s a controlled medicine, which cannot be sold without a recipe. This might be some kind of personal omen, but for a few days I couldn’t sleep well.

There were so many things about it... So many opposed arguments, so much confusion…

The illegal component about it was the first reason to avoid doing it. The penalties, just to approximate, added over two million pesos and the seizure of the drugstore if the vase was found. Unfortunately it was (a few months after I left), and we got really close to lose the family business.

And the religious component couldn’t stay far. But not because I felt committed to the catholicism, or because what I mentioned before. The main reason was that most people (me included) learned to accept the value of life thru catholic rituals and lectures, and the feeling of walking away of those experiences is always tough.

The need to make some money in the middle of a long crisis was one of the reasons to keep doing it. It wasn’t easy to sell medicine on a place where people can’t get sick because they can’t afford it. Being nice to every costumer ensured each one of them as a regular. They could be seen buying other medicines eventually.

And there was, also, the rational component. I felt glad, somehow, to see people taking that choice. Rich and poor, they were thinking on their own lives, on the life of the baby and on their inability to offer him/her a good and comfortable one.

But I couldn’t stop thinking about the irresponsibility of people due to avoid the use of birth control, despite the efforts from the state and other organizations to create awareness of the need to do it.

Still, we kept selling those pills until the vase got empty.

After I left the drugstore, things didn’t improve on this matter. Some of my friends knew about my job and asked me several times about the name of the medicine and the procedure. And if what I mentioned before wasn’t enough, having friends on this position made things a whole lot more complicated.

It’s not easy when you have the knowledge to do things like that, and there are friends in distress, so there were only a couple of cases that I helped with. With both of them, there was no way to doubt, not when they have faith in you. But all the rest had a negative answer from me, even knowing that someone else could tell them how to abort. Then, I left that town and avoided subconsciously to speak about it.

Life is tough, but things like those recently mentioned happen all the time. Why not playing attention to them instead of keep searching for answers in books?